Day 14.
I suppose it's traditional at the end of any major undertaking to maybe take a few moments to wax lyrical about the experience; how you felt it changed you both as a person and as part of a larger whole. Certainly I had thought of doing that, but frankly I've only really got one thing to leave you with, and that's...
I DIDN'T DIE, AND FRANKLY THE SCARS WILL GO, MAINLY!
I hope I've kept you entertained over the last couple of weeks. I know I've enjoyed doing it and it was nice to see so many "likes*".
I'll probably do another update when Jay and the kids are back, but for now at least let me leave you with a few pro-tips that I've picked up.
1) Although cat food isn't a million miles from human food, don't.
2) Never trust wild mushroom guides off the Internet
3) Remember to wear clothes while shopping.
4) The barter system really is dead. It'll just cause embarrassment for both you and the shopkeep.
5) Don't let your wife and kids leave for so long. You'll miss them.
*Yay for meaningless Internet karma!
Mark
Sunday 18 August 2013
Left on my own again 2012 - day 13 - Last Day!
Day 13
Sorry for delay. I had to attend another party. I'm turning in to a proper socialite it seems. I'll have my picture in Heat next I reckon. I think I can hear the paparazzi outside actually or chavs. Can't tell.
Was a really good surprise birthday party for my brother. Loads of people turned up, as did the worst rain of August but we didn't let it ruin the fun.
Food was very good. I hope they didn't mind me taking a doggy bag home (well, more of a rucksack really. Ok well more like a rucksack, two carrier bags and a bin liner*), but should keep me going until Jay gets back tomorrow.
Suppose I'd better go do some housework. Those stains won't come out of the carpet by themselves will they!
Bye!
*and a holdall.
Saturday 17 August 2013
An Ancient Hill
I've been known to poem occasionally. Here is my latest.
--
Quietly I sit, letting my breath become one with the chirruping crickets, cheeky fingers of wind tickle the back of my neck.
Splashes of liquid sun glide over the golden fields below me, gnarled stands of Juniper and Hawthorn keep watch as centuries roll on.
I long to join them on their journey of eons, whilst all round me are oblivious to the beauty. They bustle on, missing out.
--
Sunday 11th August 2013
Butser Hill
--
Quietly I sit, letting my breath become one with the chirruping crickets, cheeky fingers of wind tickle the back of my neck.
Splashes of liquid sun glide over the golden fields below me, gnarled stands of Juniper and Hawthorn keep watch as centuries roll on.
I long to join them on their journey of eons, whilst all round me are oblivious to the beauty. They bustle on, missing out.
--
Sunday 11th August 2013
Butser Hill
Friday 16 August 2013
Left on my own again 2013 - Day 12 - Preperations
Day 12.
That was a long week.
Even though I only did three days. It's the thought that counts and I think everyone else was ok with it. Right guys? GUYS?
So, we're on the final stretch now. Jay and the kids are home on midday Monday and I can't wait to see them. It's a fine time having a little me time, but me time isn't fun time with just one. It needs more. It needs family.
*violins*
Anyone else hear that? Anyhoo, I've started the preparations for their homecoming. The house is in some semblance of order, there's hardly any washing for Jay to do when she gets back (well she has had a holiday!), and I've found out that you can wash* shoes in the dishwasher, so that will clear the smell somewhat. I've even hoovered! I've got a bone to pick with you James Dyson - "Never loses suction" HAH! Bet you never tested them with a cat up it. That reminds me, I need to do something tomorrow.
I've even managed to get the shopping done so there is food in! and sweets. Lots of sweets. (They're a food group! I'm sure Brian Cox told me once).
The skip should be picked up tomorrow so that's some of the evidence gone right there. I doubt she'll miss the curtains anyway.
Ooh! Hair cut day tomorrow too; try and see if we can't smooth out some of the burnt patches. I'm going to try the barter system again at the barbers I think. Surely they'll accept eggs, or some nice sausages for a trim. That's a bargain that is.
Night all. X
*possibly too descriptive.
That was a long week.
Even though I only did three days. It's the thought that counts and I think everyone else was ok with it. Right guys? GUYS?
So, we're on the final stretch now. Jay and the kids are home on midday Monday and I can't wait to see them. It's a fine time having a little me time, but me time isn't fun time with just one. It needs more. It needs family.
*violins*
Anyone else hear that? Anyhoo, I've started the preparations for their homecoming. The house is in some semblance of order, there's hardly any washing for Jay to do when she gets back (well she has had a holiday!), and I've found out that you can wash* shoes in the dishwasher, so that will clear the smell somewhat. I've even hoovered! I've got a bone to pick with you James Dyson - "Never loses suction" HAH! Bet you never tested them with a cat up it. That reminds me, I need to do something tomorrow.
I've even managed to get the shopping done so there is food in! and sweets. Lots of sweets. (They're a food group! I'm sure Brian Cox told me once).
The skip should be picked up tomorrow so that's some of the evidence gone right there. I doubt she'll miss the curtains anyway.
Ooh! Hair cut day tomorrow too; try and see if we can't smooth out some of the burnt patches. I'm going to try the barter system again at the barbers I think. Surely they'll accept eggs, or some nice sausages for a trim. That's a bargain that is.
Night all. X
*possibly too descriptive.
Thursday 15 August 2013
Left on my own again 2013 - Day 11 - Something I ate
Day 11
Oh god.
Ohgodohgodohgod.
Why did I drink so much of that fermented liquid I was offered last night. I have spent most of the day in a kind of stupor. Not wanting to move too much in case I lost the £4.95 big breakfast from Morrison's that the Internet told me would be a good curative. It's nearly a fiver after all.
I was kindly offered a sofa to crash on last night, I was all prepared to get a taxi home so that was a nice bonus. Probably for the best though as I don't know if you are well versed in the taxi's of Portsmouth? I can't speak eastern European when I'm sober so bugger trying to direct Alexander Alexandrovich* when I'm under the weather.
Also, does anyone else get that kind regret/guilty feeling when they wake up after a night on it? Just me? Great.
Called on the take-away fairy again today. It's not good for my waist-line but I'm keeping the New Golden Leaf afloat in this global financial crisis so I consider myself a force for good in the neighbourhood. They probably don't agree, and I'm not sure why they leave my order on the step outside with the door locked. Kinda odd.
Not long until Jay and the kids are back, Facetimed them earlier, they were off out to a Karaoke bar, all look nicely tanned, they've had enough of the heat now and want to come back. Just hope I can get the stains out before then.
Arrivederci!
*kind of a cop-out stereotypical name, but best I could do, you know, NOT being Russian.
Oh god.
Ohgodohgodohgod.
Why did I drink so much of that fermented liquid I was offered last night. I have spent most of the day in a kind of stupor. Not wanting to move too much in case I lost the £4.95 big breakfast from Morrison's that the Internet told me would be a good curative. It's nearly a fiver after all.
I was kindly offered a sofa to crash on last night, I was all prepared to get a taxi home so that was a nice bonus. Probably for the best though as I don't know if you are well versed in the taxi's of Portsmouth? I can't speak eastern European when I'm sober so bugger trying to direct Alexander Alexandrovich* when I'm under the weather.
Also, does anyone else get that kind regret/guilty feeling when they wake up after a night on it? Just me? Great.
Called on the take-away fairy again today. It's not good for my waist-line but I'm keeping the New Golden Leaf afloat in this global financial crisis so I consider myself a force for good in the neighbourhood. They probably don't agree, and I'm not sure why they leave my order on the step outside with the door locked. Kinda odd.
Not long until Jay and the kids are back, Facetimed them earlier, they were off out to a Karaoke bar, all look nicely tanned, they've had enough of the heat now and want to come back. Just hope I can get the stains out before then.
Arrivederci!
*kind of a cop-out stereotypical name, but best I could do, you know, NOT being Russian.
Left on my own again 2013 - day 10 - paaaaarrty
Day 10
I've been invited to party to celebrate a "birthday".
I think they have accepted me.
I've been offered food cooked over an open fire, fermented liquid and cake. All going good so far.
There are balloons.
I've been invited to party to celebrate a "birthday".
I think they have accepted me.
I've been offered food cooked over an open fire, fermented liquid and cake. All going good so far.
There are balloons.
Tuesday 13 August 2013
Left on my own again 2013 - Day 9 - Sweet and Sour
Day 9
Bin day! Remembered to put them out. I'm a good lad. I'm not sure the bin man agreed, but I'll tell you what I think. I think it's a man's inalienable right to hide in a bin. The look on his face was priceless. I'm not sure if it was shock at finding a giggling fool in the bin or the fact I'm not recyclable and he was at a moral crossroads. In the end he just backed away slowly, giving me a thousand yard stare.
I was woken this morning to a pathetic mewing sound coming from James's room. I'd only gone and shut the cat in there all night. I had to make sure she hadn't pissed in James's lego box (again), because, damn, that was an unpleasant thing to have to clean up last time. Why the lego box? It can't be the most comfortable thing in the world to piss in. Stupid animals, no wonder we're the dominant species, (or perhaps they just let us think that?) I'm keeping an eye on muffin. (snigger, that sounded rude).
Sweet and sour from a jar for dinner. Turned out more sour and sour, and really Uncle Ben's, I don't think it should corrode a metal spoon like that. I'm no cordon bleu but honestly that can't be good for me. I'm building up the confidence to try it. I feel for my fillings, it's going to be like eating tin foil.
Anyway, kuona baadaye as they say* in Swahili.
*Probably
Bin day! Remembered to put them out. I'm a good lad. I'm not sure the bin man agreed, but I'll tell you what I think. I think it's a man's inalienable right to hide in a bin. The look on his face was priceless. I'm not sure if it was shock at finding a giggling fool in the bin or the fact I'm not recyclable and he was at a moral crossroads. In the end he just backed away slowly, giving me a thousand yard stare.
I was woken this morning to a pathetic mewing sound coming from James's room. I'd only gone and shut the cat in there all night. I had to make sure she hadn't pissed in James's lego box (again), because, damn, that was an unpleasant thing to have to clean up last time. Why the lego box? It can't be the most comfortable thing in the world to piss in. Stupid animals, no wonder we're the dominant species, (or perhaps they just let us think that?) I'm keeping an eye on muffin. (snigger, that sounded rude).
Sweet and sour from a jar for dinner. Turned out more sour and sour, and really Uncle Ben's, I don't think it should corrode a metal spoon like that. I'm no cordon bleu but honestly that can't be good for me. I'm building up the confidence to try it. I feel for my fillings, it's going to be like eating tin foil.
Anyway, kuona baadaye as they say* in Swahili.
*Probably
Monday 12 August 2013
Left on my own again 2013 - Day 8 - OMFG BEES!
Day 8 (Take 2, stupid bloody iPad)
Good news everyone, I've regained the use of most of my fingers so this status shouldn't take too long. Typing with other body parts is not for the faint hearted, albeit kinda fun (or was until I was cautioned. Again).
In a kind of a worrying turn of events, I've started liking Jazz. My foot is tapping to a smoking hot syncopated beat like a mad thing. It's odd, I don't even own a turtle neck so, yeah. I feel like a smoke too. Welcome to Jazz Club. Niiiice.
Not seen the cats today. I don't think they appreciated the sofa fort. You should have seen it, it was a glorious thing. I meant to take a picture but my phone was being a complete tit. Fucking Siri, I think she hates me.
"I'm Sorry Mark. I don't understand "OMFG BEES! AIEEEEE!" Would you like me to search the web?"
See. Useless.
Night.
Good news everyone, I've regained the use of most of my fingers so this status shouldn't take too long. Typing with other body parts is not for the faint hearted, albeit kinda fun (or was until I was cautioned. Again).
In a kind of a worrying turn of events, I've started liking Jazz. My foot is tapping to a smoking hot syncopated beat like a mad thing. It's odd, I don't even own a turtle neck so, yeah. I feel like a smoke too. Welcome to Jazz Club. Niiiice.
Not seen the cats today. I don't think they appreciated the sofa fort. You should have seen it, it was a glorious thing. I meant to take a picture but my phone was being a complete tit. Fucking Siri, I think she hates me.
"I'm Sorry Mark. I don't understand "OMFG BEES! AIEEEEE!" Would you like me to search the web?"
See. Useless.
Night.
Left on my own again 2013 - Day 7 - Mushrooms
Day 7
I've had a couple of people asking where the update for day 7 was.
To be honest I'm not 100% sure where Sunday went either. All I know is I woke up in the lounge in a sofa fort with my face camouflaged wearing a bandana.
The last thing I remember clearly was going for a hike up Butser Hill and think "Those mushrooms look tasty. I'll make an omelette."
Next thing I'm tripping balls and wondering why I can see out of my ears.
Pro-tip: Really don't eat stuff you find in a field. Really*
Just a quick update as I'm not feeling too good and I've got to put the lounge back together.
Bye.
*really. Don't.
Saturday 10 August 2013
Left on my own again - 2013 - Day 6 - Ouch
Day 6
The skip arrived this morning at a reasonable time. I was told between 8-12 and it came at 8:50 so bonus points for them, (take note Curry's!) I've got it for a week, which means I could take my time and clear the garden slow time.
Of course, that's not what happened, and stupid me had filled it by midday, and I'm now a bleeding wreck lying on the sofa nursing a beer in my blistered hands while I attempt to get enough energy to summon the take away fairy. I hope they can understand agonised sobbing.
If anyone in the locale wants to come round a spoon-feed me Singapore Chow Mien it would be appreciated. I promise I'll get dressed mostly.
So it's only a short update today as I haven't broken anything (expect my spirit and quite possibly my grip function), and to be honest it's actually difficult typing with my nose.
Cheers
PS! Keep an eye out in the sky after dark for the Perseid Meteor shower! Earth's going through the dust cloud left by a comet. Untidy bastard.
The skip arrived this morning at a reasonable time. I was told between 8-12 and it came at 8:50 so bonus points for them, (take note Curry's!) I've got it for a week, which means I could take my time and clear the garden slow time.
Of course, that's not what happened, and stupid me had filled it by midday, and I'm now a bleeding wreck lying on the sofa nursing a beer in my blistered hands while I attempt to get enough energy to summon the take away fairy. I hope they can understand agonised sobbing.
If anyone in the locale wants to come round a spoon-feed me Singapore Chow Mien it would be appreciated. I promise I'll get dressed mostly.
So it's only a short update today as I haven't broken anything (expect my spirit and quite possibly my grip function), and to be honest it's actually difficult typing with my nose.
Cheers
PS! Keep an eye out in the sky after dark for the Perseid Meteor shower! Earth's going through the dust cloud left by a comet. Untidy bastard.
Friday 9 August 2013
Left on my own again - 2013 - Day 5 - Skip
Day 5
There's nothing like a bacon and egg sarnie to sate your hunger after a long day at work, and what appeared at the end of my kitchen endeavour was nothing like a bacon and egg sarnie. It shouldn't actually be possible to chip a tooth on a fried egg but there you go; I'm unique.
I've got a bit of work ahead of me this weekend. There's some some rubbish to clear from the garden so I took the sensible step of ordering a skip. I'm very proud of myself for getting through the process with minimal swearing! Even more impressive is that I don't even read The Sun so was totally unprepared for manual labour. White collar all the way for me, well they would be white if it wasn't for the washing machine incident, but less said about that the better. It takes a real man to wear pink I've heard.
So did you see me on Dara O'briaianans Science Club then? Underwhelming wasn't it. I tried to make myself more visible during the filming but I was warned I'd be removed from the studio if I didn't put them back on. Meh.
Do you have much planned for the weekend? I thought I might investigate one of the local pubs tomorrow. I've not been there since it changed management, but I have high hopes. Last time I was there it was so stuck in the 70's there were bull fighting posters on the wall and the ceiling was the colour of a tramps gusset. Not a great experience. I'm hoping the clientèle has improved too. If not then I don't think I've got the right clothes to fit in. Tends to be grey sweat pants, branded polo shirt and white Adidas trainers, (can of Stella, Staffie called Tyson and a girlfriend with creoles with size of saucers optional).
Have a good one.
There's nothing like a bacon and egg sarnie to sate your hunger after a long day at work, and what appeared at the end of my kitchen endeavour was nothing like a bacon and egg sarnie. It shouldn't actually be possible to chip a tooth on a fried egg but there you go; I'm unique.
I've got a bit of work ahead of me this weekend. There's some some rubbish to clear from the garden so I took the sensible step of ordering a skip. I'm very proud of myself for getting through the process with minimal swearing! Even more impressive is that I don't even read The Sun so was totally unprepared for manual labour. White collar all the way for me, well they would be white if it wasn't for the washing machine incident, but less said about that the better. It takes a real man to wear pink I've heard.
So did you see me on Dara O'briaianans Science Club then? Underwhelming wasn't it. I tried to make myself more visible during the filming but I was warned I'd be removed from the studio if I didn't put them back on. Meh.
Do you have much planned for the weekend? I thought I might investigate one of the local pubs tomorrow. I've not been there since it changed management, but I have high hopes. Last time I was there it was so stuck in the 70's there were bull fighting posters on the wall and the ceiling was the colour of a tramps gusset. Not a great experience. I'm hoping the clientèle has improved too. If not then I don't think I've got the right clothes to fit in. Tends to be grey sweat pants, branded polo shirt and white Adidas trainers, (can of Stella, Staffie called Tyson and a girlfriend with creoles with size of saucers optional).
Have a good one.
Thursday 8 August 2013
Left on my own again - 2013 - Day 4 - Facetime
Day 4
Yo, sup? (I'm soooo street!)
Getting to day 5 and probably still having the use of most of my major body parts has got to be worthy of a mention. What isn't working so well can probably be repaired with enough time and duct tape. So no worries from this little soldier.
After the faux pas of missing a family call with Jay and the kids yesterday I was well prepared to receive it today. I don't know if you've seen the Apple Facetime adverts? You know the ones. Beautiful people gazing longingly at their iPhones, while loved ones separated by distance or commitment are doe-eyed and soft-focus in return?
Yeah, those ones.
Doesn't work like that. Nah.
Granted, the picture and sound were good, the arguing, shouting and everyone trying to talk at once, not so much. I felt the need to say Over! after each sentence. It was all good though, it was nice to catch up. I took Jay's look as love, entwined with concern and a dash of bemusment. I like my hair like this. I should have probably also worn clothes too. The kids (and mother-in-law), looked, well for want of a better word, shocked.
Also! omgomgomg!!!1 I'm counting down the minutes until 8pm - I should be on Dara O'Briaiaiaian's Science Club on the tellybox (sorry, I didn't know how to stop spelling it. I'm the same with bananananana). Look out for me won't you! (BBC2 HD) or if you're on benefit, BBC2.
If you spot me, let me know! There's a prize!*
Bye.
*There is no prize.
Yo, sup? (I'm soooo street!)
Getting to day 5 and probably still having the use of most of my major body parts has got to be worthy of a mention. What isn't working so well can probably be repaired with enough time and duct tape. So no worries from this little soldier.
After the faux pas of missing a family call with Jay and the kids yesterday I was well prepared to receive it today. I don't know if you've seen the Apple Facetime adverts? You know the ones. Beautiful people gazing longingly at their iPhones, while loved ones separated by distance or commitment are doe-eyed and soft-focus in return?
Yeah, those ones.
Doesn't work like that. Nah.
Granted, the picture and sound were good, the arguing, shouting and everyone trying to talk at once, not so much. I felt the need to say Over! after each sentence. It was all good though, it was nice to catch up. I took Jay's look as love, entwined with concern and a dash of bemusment. I like my hair like this. I should have probably also worn clothes too. The kids (and mother-in-law), looked, well for want of a better word, shocked.
Also! omgomgomg!!!1 I'm counting down the minutes until 8pm - I should be on Dara O'Briaiaiaian's Science Club on the tellybox (sorry, I didn't know how to stop spelling it. I'm the same with bananananana). Look out for me won't you! (BBC2 HD) or if you're on benefit, BBC2.
If you spot me, let me know! There's a prize!*
Bye.
*There is no prize.
Wednesday 7 August 2013
Left on my own again - 2013 - Day 3 - The One Show
Day 3
Funny old day. I'm not sure if it's my love of life, or just malnutrition but I feel all spaced today. The drive home from work was a treat, but at least they were kind enough to give me seven days to produce my documents at the station. Good luck with that, I'll be unconscious by then. I've asked them to put a note in the calendar to check on me if I'm a no-show.
Walked in the door to sulking cats. It appears they had given up trying to use the can opener and had scratched the hell out of the sofa in some kind of dirty protest. However, and feeling slightly annoyed at having to give up a ready supply of protein for next week, I relented and cracked open a pouch of cat food ("lamb" chunks in gravy!), and gave it to them. Not a word of thanks. They're lying on the deck giving me a look at the moment. If I didn't know better I'd say they were planning something evil and feline. (I am aware that "Evil" and "Feline" are considered both sides of the same coin).
You know you've been on your own for too long when even the thought of watching The One Show is appealing. I'm sat watching Alex and Matt ponce around on Weston-Super-Mare beach. What's Somerset done to deserve that I ask you. Rhod Gilbert just looked at me and shook his head.
Plans for tonight you say? I'd thought I'd attempt to tackle the pile of washing I left in the lounge, perhaps leave the cupboard doors open and abandon my shoes in the middle of the floor. (I can feel Jay twitching from here). Don't worry honey, I'm lying about the cupboard doors, I burnt them for warmth.
Tarra.
Funny old day. I'm not sure if it's my love of life, or just malnutrition but I feel all spaced today. The drive home from work was a treat, but at least they were kind enough to give me seven days to produce my documents at the station. Good luck with that, I'll be unconscious by then. I've asked them to put a note in the calendar to check on me if I'm a no-show.
Walked in the door to sulking cats. It appears they had given up trying to use the can opener and had scratched the hell out of the sofa in some kind of dirty protest. However, and feeling slightly annoyed at having to give up a ready supply of protein for next week, I relented and cracked open a pouch of cat food ("lamb" chunks in gravy!), and gave it to them. Not a word of thanks. They're lying on the deck giving me a look at the moment. If I didn't know better I'd say they were planning something evil and feline. (I am aware that "Evil" and "Feline" are considered both sides of the same coin).
You know you've been on your own for too long when even the thought of watching The One Show is appealing. I'm sat watching Alex and Matt ponce around on Weston-Super-Mare beach. What's Somerset done to deserve that I ask you. Rhod Gilbert just looked at me and shook his head.
Plans for tonight you say? I'd thought I'd attempt to tackle the pile of washing I left in the lounge, perhaps leave the cupboard doors open and abandon my shoes in the middle of the floor. (I can feel Jay twitching from here). Don't worry honey, I'm lying about the cupboard doors, I burnt them for warmth.
Tarra.
Left on my own again - 2013 - Day 2 - Summer Dress
Day 2
Simon and Garfunkel were pretty much spot-on with The Sound of Silence. Walking through the door after work it hit me like a brick. I'm used to coming home to much wailing and gnashing of teeth (those that know my kids will understand), but today was different; the house felt empty and not a little odd.
I almost tripped over a Next delivery for Jay when I got in too - a nice floral summerdress, least I've got clean clothes now, I'll make sure it's washed** by the time she gets home.
Even the cats couldn't be arsed coming in for their dinner. (Cats can eat baked beans right?) Fussy buggers. To be honest though I probs should have taken it out of the tin first. (NOT SO CLEVER NOW, YA FURRY FECKERS!)
Hunted some left over bolognaise in the fridge, and once I'd scraped off the crust it was mostly fine, and if the cats can't work out the can opener then I've dinner tomorrow in the bag too. Result.
Oh, final Public Service Announcement. Apparently you are not /allowed/ to barter at the coop any more, their loss, they were good pants.
Tarra.
**or at least in a pile in the washing basket***
***Look, it's progress ok.
Simon and Garfunkel were pretty much spot-on with The Sound of Silence. Walking through the door after work it hit me like a brick. I'm used to coming home to much wailing and gnashing of teeth (those that know my kids will understand), but today was different; the house felt empty and not a little odd.
I almost tripped over a Next delivery for Jay when I got in too - a nice floral summerdress, least I've got clean clothes now, I'll make sure it's washed** by the time she gets home.
Even the cats couldn't be arsed coming in for their dinner. (Cats can eat baked beans right?) Fussy buggers. To be honest though I probs should have taken it out of the tin first. (NOT SO CLEVER NOW, YA FURRY FECKERS!)
Hunted some left over bolognaise in the fridge, and once I'd scraped off the crust it was mostly fine, and if the cats can't work out the can opener then I've dinner tomorrow in the bag too. Result.
Oh, final Public Service Announcement. Apparently you are not /allowed/ to barter at the coop any more, their loss, they were good pants.
Tarra.
**or at least in a pile in the washing basket***
***Look, it's progress ok.
Left on my own again - 2013 - Day 1 - Self Sufficiency
Day 1 without Jay and the kids.
Going well, haven't burnt the house down, and the neighbours are still talking to me, so that's good.
I was going to rely on my horticultural self-sufficiency this time, but I don't think six cherry tomatoes and a manky strawberry will cut it for two weeks, plus Google told me that eating cats isn't socially acceptable in this country either so the little bastards got away with that one. Not much meat on them so I'm not even bothered.
Did a load of washing too, (I know, right?) and although it took a while to mop up the garage I was still quite proud.
Going well, haven't burnt the house down, and the neighbours are still talking to me, so that's good.
I was going to rely on my horticultural self-sufficiency this time, but I don't think six cherry tomatoes and a manky strawberry will cut it for two weeks, plus Google told me that eating cats isn't socially acceptable in this country either so the little bastards got away with that one. Not much meat on them so I'm not even bothered.
Did a load of washing too, (I know, right?) and although it took a while to mop up the garage I was still quite proud.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)