Day 6

Day 6: Two minor points. Firstly, they were not field mushrooms and secondly a stomach pump isn't half as much fun as they make out.

I have just about got the use of my legs back and I'm no longer looking out my ears. I just need the fox to stop doing the can-can and all will be peachy. He's got good legs mind and looks faaaabulous in that burlesque get-up. Ok that was wrong on more than a few levels. Ignore me.

The doorbell went earlier and I think I hid well enough and managed to peek out the letter box. It was odd that they ran back up the drive. Perhaps they missed an appointment or something. I'm sure it was nothing I did. I was only giggling and was almost certainly dressed this time.

(Anyone know how to shift blood stains? Just asking).

Shhh! Don't you start Frenchie or I'll shove' onions where the sun don't shine. NO I DON'T MEAN CROYDON! Bloody cheese-eating surrender monkey. Honestly.

I'm thinking of declaring my house as an independent free-state. Not sure how i'll look on the stamps though. Discuss.