Day 5

Day 5: My head feels like there is a Frenchman living in it; he's wearing a turtle-neck, chain smoking Gauloises and telling me I like jazz. Nice.

Braved the cooker last night. Pop-corn chicken, chips and beans. Once I had brushed off the carbonation it was nearly eatable. Certainly filled a hole, namely the one I buried it in. I caught the fox from the back of our garden sniffing round it, I have never been given such a look of disdain before. In a move that could only be described as "preferable" it proceeded to lick its own arse. Charming.

Shh, I'm talking! (they don't stop gabbling on). NO I CAN'T DO THAT! IT'S ILLEGAL IN MOST COUNTRIES!

Went for a walk earlier to escape Frenchy and found some field mushrooms. Should be tasty. Lucky I know fieldcraft eh?

I'll sign off with a few wise words from the great Bear Grylls: "When in doubt, drink your own piss".

It's over-rated.